Cow economics...

An oldie capable of endless rejuvenation......

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

A SMALL COMPANY
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies. You hire your neighbour to work them for you and retire.
A LARGE COMPANY
You have two cows.
You follow the advice of a consultant and buy 98 more on credit and extract 4 times the normal mil output to service the debt. Later, you hire another consultant to analyse why the cows died. The state gives you a grant to maintain employment levels.

AN INTERNATIONAL COMPANY
You have two cows.
You sell 300 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for 500 cows. The milk rights of 600 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to 700 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 800 cows, with an option on more. The state then buys your bull.

A GREEK COMPANY
You have two cows.
You borrow from the EuroBank to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds. You retire on the Eurobank subsidies. You still only have two cows.
AN ITALIAN COMPANY
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A CHINESE COMPANY
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. A reporter asks if this is really the measure of zero unemployment, and high productivity. You arrest the reporter.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...